


The Bet

by Hes_Beauty_Hes_Jason_Grace



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Agender Pidge | Katie Holt, Bets & Wagers, Klance AU Month 2019, M/M, MEMES™, Multiple chapters, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Texting, groupchat, klance, lets pretend the end of vld didnt happen lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 01:10:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18063695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hes_Beauty_Hes_Jason_Grace/pseuds/Hes_Beauty_Hes_Jason_Grace
Summary: Pidgeon: then it's settled.Pidgeon: if Lance loses, Keith gets his car. If Keith loses, he has to go on a date with Lance in that car.Based on the worst date episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine





	1. I'll stick you in a wormhole

**Author's Note:**

> The Tailor- Lance  
> Shirodone- Shiro  
> Space Zuko- Kieth  
> Pidgeon- Pidge/Katie  
> The Hunk- Hunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Stakes ™

"The Dream Team™"

The Tailor: hey mullet

  
Space Zuko: ....

The Tailor: chipper as always

Firelord Zuko: oh, bite me, Lance

Pidgeon: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The Hunk: ʕ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°ʔ

The Tailor: (¬_¬)

Shirodone: children please  
Shirodone: (☭ ͜ʖ ☭)

Pidgeon: ayyyy

The Hunk: ayyyy 〔´∇｀〕

The Tailor: ayyyy

Space Zuko: I reiterate  
Space Zuko: ...

The Tailor: anyways,,,,,,  
The Tailor: back to the matter at hand

Pidgeon: no one has ever called you that nickname js

The Tailor: ANYWAYS  
The Tailor: as we're all well aware

Space Zuko: get to the point, Lance

The Tailor: I'll stick you in a worm hole Keith I s2g

The Hunk: ( ͡° ل͜ ͡°)

The Tailor: it's our annual war

Shirodone: it's sad college students playing laser tag in a place that used to be a strip club

The Tailor: it's a very serious war tyvm  
The Tailor: but back to the issue at hand

The Tailor: namely, Keith is the worst at laser tag and I am the reigning champion

Space Zuko: the way I remember it is that you always used to win until I joined the friend group and now you're in second place and are both sad and bitter about it

The Tailor: agree to disagree

The Hunk: can you guys maybe have a piece of bread and calm down

Pidgeon: no no  
Pidgeon: please, carry on  
Pidgeon: I love conflict

The Tailor: Kogane, I'd like to propose a bet  
The Tailor: based on the outcome of the annual war

Shirodone: sad laser tag**

Space Zuko: I'm listening  
Space Zuko: So what are the stakes?  
Space Zuko: Don't say money because I know you're in debt

The Tailor: crushing debt*  
The Tailor: I'll bet whatever you want, mullet  
The Tailor: bc there's no way I'm losing

Space Zuko: what about your stupid car?

The Hunk: Lance that's your date car, man  
The Hunk: don't do it

Space Zuko: I wouldn't do it if I were you  
Space Zuko: you're totally gonna lose

The Hunk: Lance you love that car, it'd be the worst thing in the world for you, bud.

Pidgeon: Hey Keith what'd be the worst thing in the world for you?  
Pidgeon: just to make it even

Space Zuko: being one of those dates

The Tailor: oh you are so on, mullet

Pidgeon: then it's settled.  
Pidgeon: if Lance loses, Keith gets his car. If Keith loses, he has to go on a date with Lance in that car

Space Zuko: alright. I'm gonna win so it doesnt really matter

The Tailor: oh we'll see, Kogane

Shirodone: for the record, this is a terrible idea

Pidgeon: Lance is known for terrible dates, Keith. You sure you wanna do this?

Space Zuko: Please. Ive come first all three years I've been here

Pidgeon: thank y'all for being so stupid.  
Pidgeon: it's so fucking entertaining


	2. God is dead and we killed him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Tailor: ,,, the point being that I, Lance McLance II won the annual war against Keith Yurak Kogane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith- Space Zuko  
> Lance- The Tailor  
> Allura- Quizsnack  
> Shiro- Shirodone  
> Hunk- The Hunk  
> Coran- CoranicMechanic  
> Adam- aDAB

The Tailor: ladies, gentlemen  
The Tailor: Pidge

Pidgeon: appreciated  
Pidgeon: also  
Pidgeon: where's Allura and Coran

The Tailor: OH SHIT  
The Tailor: rite

Pidgeon: you've asked her out like 10 times and yet you just

The Tailor: I'm a busy man

_The Tailor added Quizsnack and CoranicMechanic_

Space Zuko: watching anime all day doesn't count as busy

The Tailor: here's an idea  
The Tailor: shit your quiznak  
The Tailor: ....shut*

Quizsnack: "shit your fuck"

The Tailor: Allura why do you do this to me

Quizsnack: bc you had a meme grouochat without me KNOWING how much I love memes

The Tailor: to be fair I forgot about you

Quizsnack: not better

CoranicMechanic: Lance Mclance I was going to leave everything in my will to you and this is how you repay me

The Tailor: okay all valid points but

_The Tailor changed their name to Lance Mclance_

Shirodone: I can't take this anymore

_Shirodone added aDAM_

_aDAM has changed their name to aDAB_

Shirodone: you know what Adam I added you for moral support but this is worse

aDAB: ;)

Lance Mclance: Pidge I'm begging you please hack his account and change his name

Pidgeon: no

Shirodone: Pidge Gunderson so help me I will add Matt

The Hunk: o shit he brought out the dad voice

Pidgeon: I'm sorry please don't do it

Lance Mclance: dare I say  
Lance Mclance: daddy

_Lance Mclance has been removed from the chat_

Space Zuko: finally

aDAB: ????

Quizsnack: same

Space Zuko: alright. I'm gonna win so it doesnt really matter

Lance Mclance: oh we'll see, Kogane

_The Hunk added Lance Mclance_

Lance Mclance: anyways we've strayed from the point

Quizzsnack: what else is new

Lance Mclance: ,,, the point being that I, Lance McLance II won the annual war against Keith Yurak Kogane

aDAB: sad laser tag*

Shirodone: you know what I changed my mind, love isn't dead

Pidgeon: ew

Space Zuko: blocked

Lance Mclance: is that an affection  
Lance Mclance: in my good catholic household

Pidgeon: 'catholic'

The Hunk: 'God is dead and we killed him' - Lance McLance II, after our failed flight sim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My bf's name is also Adam and he reads my works so Adam if you're reading this, and I know you are, you're welcome for the horrendous nickname


	3. Hell Is Empty And All The Devils Are Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to like try make this fic Klance but not only Klance. Lmk what you think

Shirodone added Matthaeus

Shirodone: you were warned

Pidgeon: URFJYFNJRFGB

Matthaeus: Pidge

Pidgeon: hell spawn  
Pidgeon: you know what you did

Matthaeus: ???

Pidgeon: you stole my fucking fruit roll-ups  
Pidgeon: you have 3 days to live

Matthaeus: oh right lol  
Matthaeus: no regrets

Pidgeon: 3 hours. Make your fucking peace now before I choke the life out of you

Matthaeus: can you even reach my neck

The Hunk: why can I hear pidge screaming with rage from across the hallway

Quizsnack: scroll up

The Hunk: oh hey Matt

aDAB: Mattel

Matthaeus: hey Adam. I thought you were dead

aDAB: only on the inside man

* * *

Lance Mclance: Mullet

Space Zuko: ugh

Lance Mclance: you know the thing at the bar on Saturday?  
Lance Mclance: we're doing it then.  
Lance Mclance: prepare for the worst date of your life  
Lance Mclance: meet me at like 5pm this is going to take preparation ( ‾ ʖ̫ ‾)

Space Zuko: hell is empty and all the devils are here 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/dhfF3XCGE5A
> 
> ^This is all that's getting me through college


	4. Homly shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuckery ™

Pidgeon: my parents bought my cat a Christmas stocking?? We're Jewish?   
Pidgeon: they said we can't force our religious beliefs on him? He's a CAT

Quizsnacc: iconic

Lance Mclance: Keith

Space Zuko: what

Lance McLance: I'll see you at 5pm tomorrow ;)

Space Zuko: the party starts at 8

Lance McLance: I know

  
Lance McLance: let's just say I have A LOT planned

Pidgeon: you sure are putting a lot of effort into this   
Pidgeon: ( ͡° ل͜ ͡°)

The Hunk: Suspicious amount ot effort aside I'm really glad you've found a hobby buddy

Shirodone: Just don't spend too much, okay Lance? You're already in a lot of debt

Lance McLance: thanks dad

Shirodone: :/

Quzsnacc: I can't fucking believe Takashi used his first emote

Pidgeon: homly shit

Shirodone: I dont understand why this is a big deal???

Shirodone: also why am I dad

The Hulk: he didn't even use grammar in that last sentence

Lance McLance: I can't fuvking belieb

Shirodone: Language, guys

Space Zuko: this is why you're dad

Lance McLance: space dad

Coranic Mechanic: what is going on 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll forever be salty about how the team treats Lance so I'm going to pretend they're actually supportive of my son. 
> 
> Also the actual bet is going to happen in the next chapter I swear lol


	5. Tell him to throw you out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some actual writing in this one lmao.

Lance Mclance: Kogane  
Lance Mclance: im in the lobby 

Space Zuko: ugh

Pigeon: ( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆) what y'all gonna do for so long huh

Quizsnacc: ┴┬┴┤( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬ 

The Hunk: ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

Lance Mclance: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)=ε✄

Lance Mclance: keith just come down the guard is giving me weird looks

Space Zuko: tell him to throw you out

Lance Mclance: come on man i won fair and square

Space Zuko: allegedly

Lance Mclance: youre so right keith i hatched an elaborate plan to cheat so i could win a date with you 20/10 for your detective skills

Quizsnacc: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

aDAB: tbh this chat makes me wish id died 

* * *

Lance sighs and tucks his phone back in his pocket. The lobby is empty aside from him and the guard he's avoiding eye contact with. He runs his eyes across the room, looking for any excuse not to look in his direction. 

They walls are bland and stained, and the floor's poorly chosen colour is covered with a sad carpet. There's an even sadder plant on the coffee table in front of a couch Lance thinks he may have contracted an STD from looking at. He backs up against the wall to get even further from it, just in case. 

He checks his phone again, but there's still no reply from Keith. 

* * *

Shirodone: kids can you lighten up a little

Pigeon: hey lance how's keith (͡ ͡° ͜ つ ͡͡°) 

The Hunk: hey pidge do you still need a ride?

Quizsnacc: what beacuse they're too short to reach the brake?

Pigeon: allura i stg 

Matthaeus: no its bc they're too short to reach the door handle

Pigeon: huihuhUGUIGGYGUIG i hate you

Lance Mclance: did your parents feed you after midnight again 

* * *

"Alright Lance, let's get this over with." 

Keith is standing at the top of the stairs with his typical frown. 

Lance can't help but smirk, "Oh no Kogane, we're going back to your apartment first."

"What?" he asks incredulously, "And what the hellare you wearing? Where'd you even  _find_ that?"

"Same place I found this. Which, by the way, is your outfit for tonight." he holds up the black bag in front of him. 

Keith pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs, "You're impossible."

* * *

"How do you like it, Kogane?"

"This is the worst thing I have ever seen in my life."

"That's the spirit! Now come on, we wouldn't want to be late. "

"Lance...I am _not_ going out in this."

"C'mon Keith, where's your Texan spirit?"

Lance hurriedly checks the time on his phone, ignoring the abundance of messages already queued up. 

"Lance, I am not going as a cowgirl. This isn't even a costume party. This is the worst."

Keith pauses as Lance comes into view. His face goes through a full range of emotions in split-seconds. 

"Scratch that,  _this_ is the worst. I'm not going in heteronormative he/her cowboy outfits."

"Sorry Kogane, we had a deal. That I believe you agreed wholeheartedly to. I would quote you, but I can't actually remember what you said. So are we going or not?"

"We're two hours early."

"I've got a lot to organise," Lance sings back. 

* * *

The Hunk: Lance youre uh

The Hunk: putting a lot of effort into this  
The Hunk: like a lot a lot

Lance Mlance: ya?  
Lance Mlance: im taking keith down a few pegs  
Lance Mlance: he deserves it

The Hunk: lance  
The Hunk: im just saying. Think about it, bud

* * *

And think about it he does. The car is silent for a few moments, aside from the humming of the engine. Keith is staring out the window of the passenger seat, face minus his character surly expression for once- though his arms are still crossed. He actually looks okay. 

"What?" Keith demands suddenly, instantly breaking the spell. 

Lance shakes his head as if trying to dislodge his thoughts

The reflex to make some biting retort rises instantly to the surface, but he pushes it down- something he'd never done before. 

 

What was going on with him, Lance wondered to himself. 

* * *

 

**[Keith's outfit](https://www.jokeshop.ie/products/wild-west-cowgirl-costume) **

**[Lance's outfit](https://www.halloweencostumes.com/western-gunman-costume.html) **

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for going MIA, college is a bitch. Thanks for sticking with this though!  


	6. Blackmail Purposes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Exposition ™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually had to do a lot of research (and by research i mean asking people on anime discord servers) bc the american education system is a mystery to me. So feel free to correct me if I got anything wrong lol.

The car comes to a stop on a somewhat dingy street,but neither of them get out- even after he pulls it into a parking space and cuts the engine.

"Lance, do I seriously have to wear this? All night?" 

"You know the rules, Keith; the date starts now and ends at midnight. I decide what you wear, what you eat, and where we go. Oh and there is one more rule- no matter what happens, you're not allowed to fall in love with me."

Keith snorts, "Won't be a problem."

Unsurprisingly, they're the first ones there. They are an hour early after all. 

"I'm going to the bathroom."

"Use it wisely, that's your first of three," Lance calls in response.

He sits down at the bar, flips out his phone with one hand, and begins absently picking at a bowl of pretzels with the other.

* * *

The Hunk: hey lance hows your alone time with keith? ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

Lance Mclance: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╭∩╮

Quizsnacc: ᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕗ

Lance Mclance: dont yall have anything better to do 

Pidgeon: no

The Hunk: lenny faces are all i have

Lance Mclance: buddy pal are you okay

The Hunk: sadly uwus

Lance Mclance: i take it back suffer

* * *

The rest of the team are there by the time the bowl is empty. Shiro of course arrives first, along with Adam.

Lance has never really had much opportunity to talk to the guy, but he seemed nice enough. Adam shoots him a smile from the doorway.

Shiro comes up behind Lance and places his prosthetic hand on his shoulder. He can practically taste the upcoming dad lecture.

"I know this bet is important to you. I also know that this friendly competition has encouraged both of you to work hard in order to win, which is always an important skill to learn. But just remember that we're all a part of a team and the fallout from this bet has the potential to put a strain on your relationship. So just.. go easy on him, okay Lance?"

"I know, Shiro. I'm not trying to do anything to compromise the project."

"I know you aren't. We could all just do with a reminder sometime."

With that, he walks over to Keith- no doubt about to give him the same pep talk.

The project... They'd all met during their shared robotics course in university. Pidge was few years younger, having graduated school early in order to follow in the Holt Family footsteps as soon as possible. He and Hunk were the same age. Keith was a tad older, but was roped into the whole project for extra credit after his academic probation. Shiro, Allura, and Coran were all fourth years who'd been assigned to help guide the four of them for their end-of-year project. It'd been Pidge's idea to work on a series of robotic lions. They'd yet to come up for a name for the whole thing, despite the countless hours and sleepless nights they'd collectively put into the assignment.  

The rest arrive over the next few minutes, finishing with Matt and Pidge. Lance takes the opportunity to take a knee and pull out the ring pop he'd been keeping in his costume pants.

"Keith Kogane, will you make me the happiest man alive and spend the world's worst date with me? You have to say yes."

He mumbles a yes and Lance slips the sour raspberry lemonade ring pop- which in his professional opinion, sucks ass- onto Keith's ring finger. 

"Now, Keith, if you'll join me on the dance floor-"

"This is a dive bar. There _is_ no dance floor."

"-We are going to perform the YMCA dance, which we have prepared for in no way, shape, or form."

* * *

 

 Quizsnacc: **video**

Quizsnacc: ur welcome yall

Pidgeon: Still can't believe Coran joined in

Lance mclance: tbh he looked like he was enjoying it

The hunk: where are you guys btw 

Pidgeon: ( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o)

Matthaeus: ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)

Lance mclance: matt buddy pal why would you betray me like this

Mattaeus: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Lance mclance: also omw to the mall to take a terrible photobooth picture for blackmail purposes

The hunk: don't text and drive

Pidgeon: [image](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1RKxqUARUMSJtV_2nNmWId5Hf7W7mRLvh/view?usp=sharing)

Lance mclance: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╭∩╮

Lance mclance: also im not i made keith drive but ty <3

The hunk: <3

Matthaeus: honestly change your name to the incredible hunk bc youre gr9

Quizsnacc: seconded

The hunk: awww ty 

The hunk has changed their name to "The incredible hunk"

The incredible hunk: :')

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not trying to start any Ring Pop Discourse, I just spent longer than I'd like to admit researching ring pop flavours and that one sounded the most extra so.


	7. Just peachy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while

Pidgeon: so mom and dad just called    

Pidgeon: Rover got out again

Quizsnacc: isn't this the third time this month

Matthaniel: yeah except this time they can't find him. They've been looking for like an hour.

aDAB: Have they checked behind the house?

Matthaniel: all his usual place. He's nowhere to be found

Pidgeon: so matt and I are going to head out to help search

Matthaniel: sorry to break up the party

Shirodone: there's no need to apologize. We'll help

Quizsnacc: coran and I are already heading to the park to look. His phone is dead but he asked me to tell you we're gonna do our best

Shirodone: Adam and I will search our neighborhood                                               

Pidgeon: seriously, thanks guys

Matthaniel: yeah thanks

Quizsnacc: <3

Shirodone: Lance, Keith, sorry to cut things short but we need as many people as we can get.

 

Lance Mclance: I'm right in the middle of this date and I cannot reschedule

Lance Mclance: I have far, far too many non-refundable deposits and yk crippling debt

Shirodone: I know your bet is important to you, but this is important to the Holts. We need you

 

Lance Mclance: yeah okay

 

Firelord Zuko: We'll search nearby animal shelters and let you know if we find anything

 

Shirodone: thanks, you two

* * *

 

 "This sucks," Lance whines as they walk towards the exit.

 

This is the fourth animal shelter they've left empty handed. Keith scoffs loudly.

 

"It's the most fun I've had all evening."

"Kind of the point, genius. And by the way, As soon as we're done, it's back to the date.”

They both slide into the car and Lance slams the door loudly.

"You're always so dramatic," Keith snaps at him.

"Not so perfect yourself, Mr Academic Probation. Just in case you'd forgotten about that little detail."

 

Keith's hands are balled into fists. Lance stares angrily out the window.

* * *

 

Lance's phone lights up as they walk out of their fifth shelter empty handed.

 The others are having just as much luck as they are, despite the amount of ground they're collectively covering.

 

There's a text from Shiro: "hope you two are getting along".

 

If by that he meant 'driving in complete silence, not even looking at each other' then they were just _peachy_.

They both walk out of their fourth animal shelter of the evening empty handed.

“It’s a shame I didn’t get to total this car. It’s a total piece of crap,” Keith bites.

“Yeah well-“

Lance stops. He thinks about what Shiro would say if he could see the two of them; so wrapped up in their own bullshit in the midst of the crisis. Pidge loved that dog and they were barely helping the Holts get him back.

He starts the ignition, catching Keith’s look of surprise in his peripheral. This is the first time Lance had ever held back from giving him a piece of his mind.

“You want to know why I love it so much?” he finally says, not moving his eyes from the road. “It’s because after I got my licence, my mom bought it for me. That might not sound like much to you, but my family doesn’t have a lot. I busted my ass working away my summer to get enough to pay for driving lessons so that I could help my parents drive around my siblings in my dad’s old car. And then my mom must have cashed out a kidney or something to get me this baby. Yeah she’s old as hell, but I’ll never forget what she did for me.”

Keith is quiet for a very long time.

“You never told me that.”

He shoots him a smile, “You never asked.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my head they're kinda taking turns driving so that's why who's in the driver's seat may switch around


End file.
